Stagnation

Sometimes, we feel we are not moving…

It was around three in the afternoon today. I was to travel alone from Digos City back to my home since my colleague just disembarked the bus earlier. Having no seat mate, I placed my heavy bag beside me on the empty seat. It was cold inside the bus; it must be from air-conditioning, or from the chill wind outside. From my window, I saw angry clouds filling the vast sky. I looked around and many seats were empty. It must be the incoming storm that limited the number of travelers. Well, it was fine.

No sooner did the engine roar and our bus left the terminal. I really wanted to get home before nightfall, but much to my dismay, the bus coursed slowly, like jellyfish on cold waters. I could not do anything about it, so I just sat back, listening more intently to the music by the band Firehouse that the bus radio played, and watching with greater keen the sights that continually vanished before me. We were slow, but slow enough to make me think of things.

The recent days had been so busy for me. I got to attend to a lot of things – my six subjects at school, my functions as the chairman of our department, plus maintaining my blogs, writing articles and keeping my online activities. I do not know, but I feel this being busy had me less efficient and laxer. I had been softer and slower. Too good at such bad times. And too bad when times were so good.

I gazed outside the window again and droplets of water started falling down the pane. The clouds had shed rain, but through the mist and the greenish background, I struggled to catch a vision of myself. Weak. Tired. But it was only a vague vision. How much larger than life would it be if the mirror is clearer? How much weaker would I seem?

Maybe, I have been burned out. Or I was not up to the challenge I accepted. Or I was not simply improving; instead, I am falling…

Maybe, it is time to be tougher and harder. I could be the man with the iron mask. Or the man with an iron fist. Or the iron man himself. Just be iron strong…

Maybe, it is time to play rough. Play hardball and survive. I had always been good playing games; maybe it is time to play again. And be better…

I smiled to myself. Yes, it is time to play the game with an iron heart. I felt my blood rushing throughout my body. I was excited.

The rain had raged outside and I was so much tired. I closed my eyes and took a sound sleep. I knew when I woke up, I would be ready to take on a faster speed…

It is time to move. And… Game on.

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2 comments:

  1. i so hate these things on the middle of the post as well as the side of your post, Iit blocks the view of the write up.

    I think, you are bored and stressed at the same time. Everything is stagnant,if im not mistaken from the bits that I can read on your post.

    Anyway, guims God is always there for us. I too have been on the downhill a few months back, but I bounced back.You really should take a break, have fun. Your life is becoming too narrow. Interaction with people personally is very important.

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  2. I guess it's just a phase we all go through at various points in our lives. Yep, sometimes, you have to slow down...and at times we're called to action. Each phase has its purpose. We just need to know the why's and how's

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