Gossips are everywhere and we are all part of them. We can be the victim and the stress, shame and humiliation a gossip brings along can tarnish our protected reputations. On the other hand, we can have a hand of creating and spreading gossips that we unknowingly hurt someone else’s feelings. Whichever, it is undeniable that gossips and gossiping is bad. So how do we deal with gossips and the people engaging in them?
If you are the object of gossip:
Understand the nature of gossip. Know what the gossip is all about and evaluate which are partly truth, exaggerations, and total lies. Doing this enables you to clear issues in your mind and helps you see the underlying reasons behind it. Similarly, assess the size of damage it has or would have done. This way, you can plan your moves to gain back your credibility.
Face the people who are gossiping about you. Be bold enough to go up to them and tell them that what they are doing is hurtful and damaging. Avoid confrontation or angry conversation since this may only aggravate the gossips. Likewise, do not appear defeated and plead with them. Just adapt a cool confident tone and state your feeling tactfully. Listen to what they have to say also. This does not mean their reasons are acceptable, but at least you know if there had been misunderstanding, misjudgment, or sheer jealousy, and whether to trust or keep these people close to you again. Most people apologize and remember not to mess up with you again the next time they wish to gossip about you.
Do not take gossips to heart. Spend your time and energy on more important matters, rather than worrying about gossips and what others have to say. Just arm yourself with the facts so that you can sincerely answer the queries of the right people.
Let it go. If asking gossipers to stop does not work, then let it go and move on. Do not mind these people and continue with your work. Eventually, they will get tired, especially when they realize and see you remaining strong and unaffected, and then they will also move on with their own businesses. Remember that things pass and gossips die down.
Live by example. You do not have to defend yourself to people to falsify gossips. Guilty people are more likely to exert so much effort to prove things wrong. Almost always, people around you know you enough to decide which talks to believe or not. So hold your head high, look people straight in the eyes, and perform your day-to-day routine with pride and honor.
Share your secrets only to your most trusted friends. Everyone has secrets and better not tell them easily to anyone to prevent becoming the talk of town.
If you observe people are gossiping about others:
Change the subject. It might appear rude if you rebuke people when they seem to be gossiping about others. Instead, find a way to change the subject and keep talking about it until the tendency to gossip totally dies.
Avoid gossips. Do not pay attention to rumors or destructive talks. Give you best to do your job and focus on it alone. It may be fun to talk about other people but avoid providing materials that can become mean gossips.
Discourage gossip. Build up a positive atmosphere. Make others see the good and beauty of everyone else so that only appreciation and positivity will reign in your place.
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