I wrote this article in my Friendster blog few years ago when I felt so tired. So much to do, so little time, so much aches, and so little rest. And inside my head, thoughts jumble like falling leaves. Hence, my random thoughts...
You are walking hand in hand with her, the afternoon breeze blowing the folds of her skirt, her eyes sparkling for every word she says or for every smile she does. The grassed path is gentle beneath your treads. And the earth smells of life and happiness.
Or maybe, she is gone. More appropriately, she has left you, tied to somebody you wish to know but will never be so. And your world turns dark, dark as her long straight hair which the wind loves to touch. Or dark as the evenings when she whispers softly in your ear.
Yes, there are those nights when the moon is bright. Every inspired soul and every grieving heart are staring at its yellow arch, as if time has stood still.
Yet, there are those nights when lightning flashes across the intercontinental sky. The stars fall and raindrops crawl down the window panes. It is cold. And into the warmth of your blankets, you take shelter.
In a way, you are glad for the roses. They need the rain. Yes, you love the roses but not the rain.
Before, you watch the sunrise with her, the leaves around you opening to welcome the new day. And she, her hair cascading down her soft back, simply sat beside you. A memory so simple but you will always love to remember. If such memories could be kept in a bottle, you would have done so. So in times to come, when you feel you hate the mornings, you only have to open the bottle again, taste a drop, and the day will be better.
But then, a lot of times have been rough. When tears have to flow and hearts being broken. You wish to totally forget them, to shred those memories like paper torn to thousand pieces.
But you are too busy. With friends. Work. Commitments.
Then you will realize they never happened. Or you wish they never had.
And of the myriad hungry people in the world, you cry for. They are hungry. But not of food only.
So much injustice. And hurts… And regrets…..
….. It’s already midnight… And a lot is going on inside my head. Useless thoughts. Aimless ones. When I could have done something better like preparing my lessons for tomorrow. LOL. Why I am having such thoughts?
Why? I guess all this thoughts boil down to one thing – I am tired. Tired of not doing the things that I should have done. Or waiting for things that will never happen. Or for doing everything at all.
There are those times when you really want to scream. Or run. Or kick the wall… Or…..
Damn, not again!
I must be really tired. I am done. And I must sleep now… No dreams please…..