It has been raining or cloudy for the last few days and the sunlight showers on almost every object brought certain cheer to the atmosphere. It was early yesterday morning and the thought of beauty gave me much energy to prepare for that day’s work. But it would be silly standing at the front door and absorbing everything I see, so I hurried up and rushed to school.
And along the way, I could not help but still gazed at my surroundings, at the colors and glow all around me – the bright yellow-azure sky, the greens, the jeepneys whose skin and sound are reminiscent of poisonous jungle frogs, the University gate, the lifeless roads, and the dreary classrooms made lively by the busy students. What made things what they are? And what made people who they are?
I often wonder what makes the sun really shine. Is it the thousands of hydrogen and elemental atoms reacting to produce the light? Or is it the thousands of lives and souls depending on its light?
What makes the flowers really bloom? Is it the fertilized soil that supplies the nutrients? Or is it the bees and butterflies which kiss each gentle bud? Why are there yellow? And red? And orange? What makes them fragrant? What makes them able to bring smile to young girls’ lips?
Whose hands shaped the mountain? Whose brush painted the sky? Who inspired each curve? Each angle? Each color? Who inspired each one?
Back in high school, a friend once asked me, “What is your motivation in life?” I really did not understand her so my answer was a big “Huh?”. Being an analytical that I am, I found it hard to answer. In my mind, I was thinking of the future, success, comfort, security and perfection. But is that makes life?
The word “motivation” seems very mechanical for me, like there is a “driving force” that urges us to act. But are our actions forced? What if they are random? What if we do them because we simply do them? Without something like hands that push us. Without something like remote controls that manipulate us. What if we do them because we feel like doing them? Because we really wanted to? Because we are inspired?
What is your inspiration in life? Or who inspires you?
I look out the window. It is already afternoon. Outside, the sun shines brightly while the wind rocks the treetops.
What inspires the wind? The moving clouds? Or the dancing leaves?